A Tale Of Two CVS's

 

A Tale of Two CVS’s

By

Stu Cassell

 

The pre-recorded voice sounded friendly when I called the pharmacy at the CVS in Bridgeton, next door to Aldi.

“Thank you for calling the CVS Pharmacy. If you’re calling about free Covid vaccinations, what the hell took you so long? If you’re a physician calling to find out when your next prescription kick-back check will go out, press 1. If you’re calling about anything else, and are deluded enough to believe anyone here cares how long you wait on the phone listening to music even worse than in elevators, press 2.”

I was calling about a prescription I dropped off on Tuesday for our epileptic dog Tango. They told me it wasn’t in stock and would take 2 days to fill. That was 5 days ago, and I decided to get the prescription filled at another CVS.

I was 72 years old when I first waited for someone to answer the phone. I was nearly 73 years old when I concluded that no one was ever going to answer the phone. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but I did wait for over 20 minutes and then I gave up, and decided it would be quicker to just get in my car and drive over to CVS to retrieve the prescription.

Before I went, I called a CVS in Florissant. I was surprised that someone answered the phone after just 2 rings. There is a God after all!

The nice young man on the phone checked and they did have the clorazepate that our vet prescribed. I explained I tried to get the prescription filled at the CVS in Bridgeton but after 5 days couldn’t wait any longer. He told me the prescription was a controlled substance and because of that he couldn’t just call them to get it – I needed to bring him the actual prescription.

There was no one waiting at the pharmacy at the CVS in Bridgeton, but the two women working behind the Plexiglas shields barely looked up when I approached the counter. At times like this, I hear the Righteous Brothers singing in my head a line from “Unchained Melody.” “and time, goes by, so slowly…”

Finally, one of the women came over to the counter and I explained why I was there. Cue the music – I stood there for 10 minutes waiting for them to locate the prescription. I resisted the urge to yell, “Hey lady! I’m OLD! I don’t have much time left, so don’t waste it. I’d like to get back home before WINTER!”

But I didn’t. Finally, she found the prescription and gave it to me. I thanked her and headed for Florissant.

This CVS was inside of a Schnuck’s on Lindbergh. On the way inside I started thinking about what I would say to persuade the pharmacist to fill the prescription while I waited for it. I wondered which of 3 possible approaches would work.

1) Guilt – You need to fill this for me now because the other CVS made me wait 5 days and 20 minutes and didn’t fill it.

2) Bribe- A well placed tip can work wonders. I found out years ago, that tips work for lots of situations, not just at restaurants, or the beauty parlor, but in other places. I once went on a job interview and at the conclusion of it, I stood up and reached into my pocket and handed my interviewer $2. I said, “That was a great interview, here’s a little something for you – take the Missus out for some donuts.”

3) As a last resort, I could try the same technique I use on my wife when I want to initiate some love making – begging and whining.

As it turned out I didn’t have to do any of those. First, the young man took down some information. He wanted to know Tango’s birthday. At the other CVS they used my birthday, but at this CVS the young man thought it would be weird to list Tango as being 72 years old. I thought it was weird that they were setting up a separate account for my dog, but what do I know? I had to think, and then I told him July 1, 2012. I made a mental note to get some balloons and a cake in 4 days.

After getting all the necessary information I was told if I could wait, he’d have the prescription in about 20 minutes. Sure I could wait. I waited that long holding on the phone for the other CVS.

As it turned out, he called my name just 15 minutes later. Wow! After using my credit card to pay for the prescription, I reached into my pocket and handed the young man $2 and told him, “Well done young man – here’s a little something for you – take the Missus out for some donuts.”