Like another shopper posted, this week's Walmart grocery pick-up included 2 small bonus bags with an array of Walmart "swag." What constitutes "Walmart Swag?" Several stomach medications, some Midol, mini packages of Oreo cookies, blue Powerade, some Claritin, a small bottle of Mucinex Nightshift Cold & Flu medicine, Alka-Seltzer gum, and a couple of small packets of cereal.
My 7 AM pickup was unusual to say the least. I arrived seconds after another car pulled into one of the parking spots in the designated pickup area. I was surprised to see a young Walmartian already outside the building with a cart full of groceries. Usually, when I get there I wait for the app pop-up screen to ask me what spot I'm parked in and what color is my car?
The young man with the cart checked with the driver of the first car, then came over to my car. I held up my sign with my name and the statement, "Substitutions are ok." He gave me a thumbs up and moved to my trunk. I popped the door and he loaded my groceries, so in effect, there was zero wait for my stuff. This young man will go far in life, being pro-active like this. He must have seen on his screen that I was there since I did nothing overt to indicate I had arrived.
When I got home my wife helped me bring the groceries in, and separate the fruit and vegetables that we would rinse, and put away the rest. We used to wipe everything off with disinfectant, but ultimately decided, "If we do that, the TERRORISTS win!" I find these days I use that rationale a lot to justify a whole host of behavior. "If I don't eat this vanilla bean ice cream after dinner, the TERRORISTS win!" "If I don't pickup some Steakburgers and fries from Steak 'n Shake tonight, the TERRORISTS win!" "If we don't have sex this evening, the TERRORIST win." I made up that last one.
After reviewing the groceries I brought home from Walmart I discovered that one pound of honey turkey was missing. I immediately got on my computer and reported it to Walmart. They in turn, gave me a "no questions asked" credit for the missing turkey.
An hour later I went to cut up a grapefruit as part of my breakfast. As I opened the bag I saw that one of the grapefruit was damaged and spoiled. Back to the computer. "Hey Walmart, I hate to bother you again, but Bro', one of my grapefruit is spoiled.
" Walmart: "No problem Bro', we got you covered again." Another credit - Cha-Ching! Thanks Bro.
That was yesterday. Because I was missing my turkey I went to the Maryland Heights Schnuck's this morning at 6:00 AM. They have a small bin in front of the Deli counter that has a few different packaged meats, including honey turkey. I got there a little after 6:00 AM. The only other item I needed was a cucumber. I picked that up and headed for the Deli counter.
They don't open until 8:00 AM, but usually they have a few different sliced meats in the bin. WTF? No meats in the bin! My primary reason for going to Schnuck's at 6:00 AM. I had to buy a package of Oscar Meyer smoked honey turkey instead. As I moved away from the packaged meats I spotted another shopper 20 feet from me who was wearing a mask, but it was under her chin.
Apparently, she had read somewhere that the throat is where all of the Coronavirus enters and exits, so she had that well covered. I didn't correct her. I've read too many stories about people getting a severe negative reaction when they engage someone who either isn't wearing a mask, or using their mask as a neck warmer. In the past, I wouldn't have hesitated to point out the error of her ways. But now, I thought, "She could be carrying a Glock 43 9mm with a 6 round clip in her purse, or a Smith & Wesson 8.25 inch Border Guard folding knife with partially serrated blade inside her panties. I couldn't take a chance.
Instead, I gave her my most intense "Old Man Glare" using ever bit of the 2 inches of my eyes visible above my properly worn mask. It worked! She immediately pulled her mask up to cover her nose and mouth. Score one for the good guys! The TERRORISTS lose this one! I returned home where I washed the cucumber and put the packaged deli meat in the meat bin in the refrigerator. Then I took one of the free Midol's Walmart gave me, just for the hell of it!
Written on September 9, 2020
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