Honestly, I'm Not A Stalker

 Honestly, I'm not a stalker

By Stu Cassell | Highlands Today 
Published: February 23, 2011

After 12 years of marriage, things weren't working out so I decided to put my ex-wife to sleep. Unfortunately, society frowns on that type of marital dissolution. Actually, what really happened was that we drifted apart. She met another man via the Internet who lived in another state, and she left me and our two sons, ages 7 and 10.

She lived with me for several months before she moved away. During that time I offered to go to a marriage counselor, or anything else that would induce her to reconsider. It was all to no avail.
Prior to her departure I had purchased theater tickets to see "Phantom of the Opera" months in advance. We had arranged to go with another couple, and I decided to go ahead with those plans, despite the uncomfortable circumstances. I think I was depressed to the point of being numb.

We saw the play, and afterwards the other couple invited us back to their house. It was August, and despite the heat we all got into their hot tub after drinking several glasses of wine. My body reacted to the alcohol in my system and the heat of the hot tub and outside humidity. I fainted.

The group moved me to a chaise lounge and put a cool wash cloth on my forehead. I remember while I was unconscious seeing a white light at the end of a long tunnel. I started floating towards it, and just as I reached it heard a voice saying, "Go back, go back - your ex-wife is still beneficiary on your insurance policy!" Then I awoke.

My ex left the state and I immediately went into a dating frenzy. I guess I'm just one of those guys that need a woman. I started placing ads in local papers and going out 2-3 times a week. After a while I decided to stop dating and got a cat. Besides my kids, it was something warm and fuzzy to love.

A few months later I was ready to renew my search and found an online dating service. I met a woman who had a 75 percent match to my profile. We corresponded by email for a few days and then I called her on the phone. We immediately clicked and arranged for our first date that weekend.
At the time I wasn't making much money, but there was something special about Mary Rose and I made a reservation at an expensive Italian restaurant. I'd never taken any woman to a fancy restaurant on the first date before.

At the restaurant we chatted comfortably and ordered our meal. I was quite taken by Mary Rose. She had a great sense of humor. Later, I would confess to her, "You had me at Super-Size it."

Over the next three weeks we talked on the phone every night, and went out every weekend. It takes me a while to loosen up and during this time I didn't exude much personality. I was polite, attentive, and brought her small gifts. This frightened her. Previously, she had dated a guy that started out similarly and when it didn't go well and she tried to break it off he began to stalk her for several months. She thought I was a stalker too, and politely told me "it's not going to work for us."

I didn't hound her, but instead gave her some space. After a few weeks I asked her out again and she declined, but said "maybe sometime." This left the door open for me. I tried again a short while later and she accepted. A year later we got married. Now 25 years later I kid her how when we first met that she mistook me for a stalker.